South of Somewhere

The shaker siding had a fresh coat of navy-blue paint with a gray tin roof. Two shaggy palmetto trees bookended either side of the house in the front yard, swaying to the rhythm of the ocean breeze.

I exited the car and the coast embraced me like an old friend. I closed my eyes and tilted my head, letting the sun kiss my face and the breeze wash over me until the sound of movement next door interrupted. Glancing to the right at the large white house, I noticed a man sitting hunched in the shade of its deep porch. He wore a ball cap shrouding most of his face, which was buried in a book. Thank goodness he didn't seem the social type, not even raising his head when I shut the car door. We were close enough that I heard him cough, so he had to have heard me also.

I moved to the trunk of my car to start unloading it just as a shiny black Corvette pulled in behind me. A white-headed man, more fit than most men half his age, exited the low-slung car with very little effort.

I shook my head. "You know you look ridiculous in that thing."

"Do I look like I care?" Gilbert pulled off his aviators and huffed. "And you're a fine one to talk, Miss Mercedes."

Touchè.

"I'm not ready to deal with you. I haven't even gone inside yet." I gestured toward the house, widening my eyes. "And I have to pee."

"Sounds like perfect timing to me." Gilbert leaned into the car and came back with a brown paper bag. "Let's get you tested." He held the bag out but I crossed my arms.

"I took one before I left the"—remembering the neighbor, I lowered my voice—"facility."

"That was hours ago. Plenty of time to get high or down a bottle of booze." Gilbert shoved the drug test into my grasp and waved a hand. "Lead the way."

I snuck another peek next door, disappointed to find the guy still there on his porch. He didn't look my way, but I was pretty sure he'd heard every word just now. Humiliated, I stomped up the stairs and punched in the code for the door. I rushed to get inside and plowed into the faint scent of patchouli, an essential oil my grandmother swore by, saying it had calm-inducing properties. Needing as much of that as possible, I took a deep inhale and made my way to the guest bathroom to handle this first order of business. I wondered how disappointed Olla would be in me over the awful mess I'd made of my life. What would she say if she could see me unscrewing a plastic cup with barcodes on the side? Face heated and tears threatening, I turned to the toilet and went on autopilot.

Finishing up, I washed my hands and opened the door. Gilbert stood there waiting. "Have at it, sir." I stepped aside and left him to do the testing.

I'm not sure how I ended up with this seventy-three-year-old man as my probation officer and sponsor. He retired a while back, but he claimed his friend and judge asked him to come out of retirement to help me stay on the straight and narrow. And darned if the man hadn't made that his mission. He'd visited me once, sometimes twice, a week since I met him eight months ago. We had a love/hate relationship and had made a game out of razzing each other.

"You passed!" Gilbert declared, striding into the living room while stripping off a pair of latex gloves.

"What a wonderful surprise! I didn't even study!" I did a silly little clap.

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Don't be a smart aleck."

"I'm afraid I know no other way to be." I flipped the overhead light on even though enough sunshine poured through the giant windows without it. "Now that the fun is over, you can head on out, sir. I need to unpack and—"

"You have plenty of time for that." Gilbert returned to the bathroom and I listened to the sink turn on as he called out, "I heard that Mexican place down the street is popular."

"I'm sure you'll like it." I moved to the front door, ready to send him on his merry way.

Gilbert came out of the bathroom. "You're going too."

I crossed my arms and took in the large yet quaint living room, dressed in vibrant teal, coral, and dark navy tones. I got my love of color from my grandmother, for sure. "Thanks, but I'm good."

"I didn't ask. I'm telling." He swept a hand in an ushering motion.

"Look, I haven't been out in public in like forever. I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"No time like the present to get it over with and I'll be with you, so that's a bonus." Gilbert frowned. "If it's too much, just say so, and we'll leave."

"Fine." I stomped past him. "But you're paying."