Today's Reading
WHAT IS SO RADICAL ABOUT THIS APPROACH?
The word "radical" does not appear in the title of this book by chance. However, we do not mean to suggest that radical is synonymous with "shocking" or to imply that our approach to listening is wholly original. Instead, we claim that there are elements of our approach that are novel and that differ from or extend current thinking on listening. There are three basic ways in which Radical Listening is radical.
First, what makes this approach radical is the notion that the starting point for listening is to be clear about your intention as the listener. Intentionality is what distinguishes listening from hearing. Is your intention to strengthen your relationship with the other person? Would you like to increase trust with a team? Are you hoping to influence a group of investors? Do you just want to give a boost to a friend who is going through a rough time? We argue that the intention of the listener changes the contours of conversation.
Next, Radical Listening differs from other approaches to listening in its understanding of what is occurring. Conventionally, listening is considered to be a way of taking in information. Conventional listening is about comprehension and clarification. By contrast, our approach suggests that listening is one of the most effective ways of strengthening relationships and creating opportunities. It replaces the concept of "information" with that of "connection."
Finally, Radical Listening is not passive. It is tempting to think of listening as a reactive act: receiving sounds. Active listening disputes this by suggesting that listeners can check for comprehension by repeating or clarifying what a speaker says. Radical Listening builds on this by adding even more active skills such as asking follow-up questions.
WHAT IS THE RADICAL LISTENING FRAMEWORK?
Before we delve into the practical skills and strategies needed to engage in Radical Listening, let us have a look at the theory upon which this practice is based (please see Figure 1.1: The Radical Listening framework). (Figure not shown)
You will see "positive intention" right at the heart of the framework.
Radical Listening starts with a positive intention to listen to people in a way that will strengthen rapport. This intention can present itself in many ways: by treating your conversational partners with dignity and respect; by going the extra mile to understand them; by showing an unambiguous interest in them and the issues they face. The first distinction is whether you are listening 'for' something or 'in order to do' something.
"Listening For"
When we have asked great communicators how they listen, the most common responses relate to what they were listening for. That is, great listeners are aware of what, exactly, they are keeping an ear out for. Some examples:
* Some talked about listening for emotions: "I pay particular attention to how people are feeling. What emotions can I pick up from their tone of voice or body posture? Do they explicitly talk about their feelings?"
* Others listen for what is not said: "I like to notice gaps in what the other person is saying. What are they leaving out of their narrative? Are there some topics that they seem to be avoiding? I use silences to invite them to articulate what they may be thinking."
* Good communicators listen for motivation. "What motivates the people that I am talking to? I look for clues about what excites them. If their eyes sparkle, or they start becoming more animated, I know that I am onto something. I then spend time digging a bit deeper by asking about the topics that seem to be most meaningful."
* Other communicators describe themselves as strengths-spotters. They are listening for strengths and resources that emerge during conversations. When they hear about strengths, they highlight these: "it sounds like you're very creative," or "from what you're saying, I'm getting a sense that you're highly adaptable." Rather than picking up on weaknesses or gaps in knowledge, these communicators draw attention to what is already there, or what is working.
Not surprisingly, these are all good techniques to use when listening. By listening for things in the conversation that can increase motivation or help others to understand themselves better, Radical Listeners can support people to achieve great results.
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